FIRST MAJOR HURDLE...

Ok, while I wait for my passwords and for people to find the time to train me, I am sitting here at my new job reading contracts and perusing their network and accounting software. I know; loads of fun. There is a lot of room for growth here and I think my time will be well spent...but in the mean time, here is what is going through my mind:

The past month and a half, my ROI on the $55 sngs on Party poker has been 14-15%. While the bad beats have been plentiful, I am still quite disappointed with this ROI. Mentally, this is hard for me to take for the following reasons:

1. This low of an ROI will subject me to pretty major swings
2. Bad beats just make me fixate on my return
3. I feel like it should be higher, but from my reading on forums like 2+2, they tell me I should be happy with this ROI.

Ok, so what is my problem?? Let me change gears and look for reasons why I should be happy with this:

1. DO NOT FIXATE ON ROI!! Try to mentally prioritize my stats and put more emphasis on $$/hr!! DO IT!!
2. Bad beats happen. If you are taking more than you are giving, then you are playing solid poker because you are ahead when the money goes in. If you can't take them, find a new way to make money!!
3. Look at, digest, and keep the following numbers at the forefront of my mind:

I would like to devote 20 hours per week playing sngs. If the average sng is 45 minutes long (In actuality, it is more like 35 minutes, but lets assume I am 4-tabling in sets, not firing up a new one as I bust), here are some numbers:

(20 hours per week):
106 $55 sngs
$880 profit
$137 in rakeback
Total Profit $1017
$$/HR: $50.85

So, now what I believed to be a paltry 15% ROI has netted me over $1000 a week in about 20 hours of work. With numbers like these, why the hell am I having such a hard time hammering out sngs?? Do I really want to do this? Is my heart in it?

I have to admit to myself that I have been questioning whether I can do this. Keeping my return positive is not the challenge, it is keep up the # of sngs I play. Is anyone else experiencing this sort of disconnect? I started this blog to document these sorts of things, and I just cant understand what my issue is. COMMENTS ARE ENCOURAGED TO ANYONE READING THIS!!

I need to hammer out some sngs tonight...bottom line, get er done!! Focus, Discipline, Focus, Discipline!

About ready to head home...another hour or so. Gotta make a quick stop and then I am heading home to watch the Rose Bowl and play some sngs. My goal for tonight is 8-10 sngs. I think if I start to set more short term goals, like daily and weekly goals, I might be able to achieve them.

Update:

Playing well and not getting results. Lost AA twice to crap hands to bust out of money...I have been playing them well, making people pay for every draw...but they call even when they are not getting proper odds. I should be smarter than that, but in retrospect, I would play them the same. If any night will test my resolve it is tonight. But, I have logged at least 7 sngs and have 2 more going....so I am powering through them. Looks like I will make my goal for tonight, but it is always easier to keep playing and try to win rather than quit when you're ahead. It will be interesting to see how I hold up when I start the session on a winning note.

Tough night to take...lots of suck outs. I am playing solid, but just not holding up. Going to have these nights...so have to learn to expect this. Doesnt bother me too much, but I have to admit I am getting pissed. I am gonna take a break in a few and start up some more.

Just finished up. I played 17 sngs tonight...down $13, but had a great comeback finishing 1st, 1st, 3rd to complete my set. Including rakeback, it is actually a winning night. Very happy with my play tonight...had a few bad beats, a few suckouts, and a break even night...not bad. Definitely played a good number of sngs. I was 3 tabling for 2 sets and 2 tabling for the rest. A few observations:

• 9 straight out of the money finishes
• 2 1sts, 2 2nds, and a 3rd
• 5 8th place finishes, 2 7ths, and a 10th
• I actually played some poker tonight. I dont know how to explain it. Usually I sit around and play my cards, but tonight, I was into the game a little more than usual. I could actually feel the game...I dont know, it was during my losing streak, but I was ahead in most situations and took a lot of bad beats.

Strange distribution of finishes. Had fun tonight, but my comeback is the only reason I can find any positives tonight. If I had not finished strong, it would be tough sleeping tonight!